Yes, boss, I could sit and read a book on the Tube during my commute. In fact, I do. But I read fiction; you're not paying me for my time before 9 or after 5:30, so except at times of emergency, you're not getting it. I do pursue outside interests related to my career, but they're not SMART or "joined up" with those of the company, so they don't count.

This year however the whole thing was bypassed; the MD simply entered a blanket "not good enough to reward 'em, not bad enough to fire 'em" rating for everyone. That affects my bonus payment. Thanks, boss's boss's boss. Do you actually know my name, by the way, let alone how I'm performing? You do remember passing on those thanks from that client last year, who asked after me by name at that fancy project dinner you (alone) attended, right?

My real problem with periodical appraisals, however, is simply this: if a person is overperforming, or underperforming, it shouldn't have to wait 6 months or more before someone discussses it with them. If it does wait, there's a danger it'll be forgotten about, and the bad behaviour go uncorrected or the good unrewarded (even if that reward is simply "nice one, thank you").

I appreciate that managers need to track the performance of their staff, but I've yet to see any evidence that this is an effective or appropriate way to do it.


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This is not a psychotic episode. It is a cleansing moment of clarity.